Inside Inclusion: A diary of working toward inclusion

Visiting the 9/11 Memorial in New York City today was deeply sobering. Sobering in light of the history it holds, and sobering in the face of the state of the world today. Tragic reading the names etched into the memorial and bearing witness to the birthdays that should have been today, each marked with a single rose in memory.

Being at the memorial and remembering that awful day and all that came with it, brought back vividly a story of a little girl who’s father died that day in the twin towers. This little girl, Janie, was 2 and 1/2 years old. I read Janie’s story when I was researching children in emergency and disaster situations across our world. Janie’s story was one of a series of stories in a paper written by Donna Gaffney in 2006, illustrating therapeutic approaches to facilitate integration of crisis and loss in the aftermath of disasters, including 9/11. Janie’s story has never left me.

Following 9/11, Janie was trying to make sense of why her Daddy wasn’t coming home. The adults around her were doing their best to support her in this process. Janie’s mother had explained that there was a fire in the building where her Daddy worked and the fireman came, but they didn’t have ladders tall enough to save Daddy and the other people with him.

At play group, Janie found a little ladder and a wreath that looked like a coil of rope. She clung to these and took them everywhere with her, playing out a different ending.

My heart aches for Janie and for every child and family grappling with the aftermath of the seemingly endless crises in our world. The cruelty of the violence and its outcomes on people who are so removed from those who choose to wreak havoc is inexplicable – at any age.

It feels so inadequate to call for kindness. But perhaps, as we hold our children in the face of the world and listen to them, kindness is the strongest shield we have.

Gaffney’s article is: Gaffney, D. A. (2006). The aftermath of disaster: Children in crisis. Journal of clinical psychology, 62(8), 1001-1016.

Image description: A photograph of the 9/11 Memorial in New York City. The photo shows the never ending waterfall surrounded by and reflecting the buildings of the One World Trade Centre and other buildings against a blue sky.